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About Valmiera

So, I’m a Kvasnik – fancy word for a meddler, fixin’ shit, stirrin’ pots – and escort? Man, it’s a trip! Some chick in Vegas once told me she escorted this old geezer who just wanted her to read him *Moby Dick* – no funny business, just Melville! Blew my mind. Happy as hell, I was – who knew? Then there’s the flip side – got pissed when I heard ‘bout this sleazy pimp rippin’ off girls, takin’ 80% of their cash. Greedy bastard. Oughta shove a boot up his – nah, too nice for him.

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After that, I decide to check out the Varaklani Museum. It’s small but packed with history. I’m wandering around, and I see this ancient artifact. I’m like, “Whoa, this is cool!” But then, I trip over my own feet and almost knock over a display. I’m sweating bullets! The curator gives me this look like, “Dude, what are you doing?” I just smile and back away slowly.

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